The Hetalia Girls Adventure
by Silent Violent Lzzy
Summary: Various Hetalia women get knocked up in weird and often comic circumstances with outrageous results.
1. Chapter 1: Elizabeta x Gilbert x Lilly

"So what's the story?"Asked Feliks, leaning back in his chair casually.

Elizabeta shifted uncomfortably, ruffling her simple white blouse. Sometimes she hated Feliks' blunt manner of speaking.

"What are you talking about?" She snapped sipping her drink territorially. The sweet pink liquid slid easily down her throat.

"With you and Gilbert. You've been 'just friends' for a while now."

Elizabeta laughed an elegant and beautiful laugh.

"I always just assumed he was gay, he never talks about women."

Feliks glared at her knowingly.

"How naïve can you be? He never talks about women around you because the only women he wishes to speak of would not find it pleasing."

Elizabeta choked on her drink. This couldn't be happening. How could this be happening? Not again. Suddenly she recovered herself, her emotional windshield wiping away any traces of unpleasant emotions.

She chuckled again, though this time a few decibels too high, and waved her hand dismissively at the supposedly outrageous claim but made no reply.

The lunch continued in stiff silence and ended with an awkward farewell followed by a half-hearted promise to "do this again sometime".

(The next day)

"Elizabeta, you need to come over, the Tigers are on tonight." Gilbert yelled over the phone. He was still under the impression that one needed to yell into technology in order to make it work.

"It makes no sense that we care about the Tigers, we're not even American." Laughed Elizabeta, happy for the familiarity of sports events with Gilbert.

"Don't question it." Gilbert replied, "Just come over."

"Whatever dude, I'll be there in five." Elizabeta replied, falling into her old boyish dialect which she adopted around Gilbert or Feliks.

Standing outside Gilbert's door, Feliks words came back to her. They had seemed ridiculous in the moment but were they really? I mean they did hang out a lot. But then again Gilbert had never made a move on her in the long time they had been friends.

"Hey Lzzy."Gilbert said casually opening the door and motioning to the couch. "The game's already started; we're losing, of course."

Elizabeta looked Gilbert up and down for the first time. He was wearing black converse shoes (the real deal of course), nice jeans and a band t-shirt. Elizabeta found herself noticing he smelled good. No, snap out of it. She thought to herself as she sat on his couch, she wasn't going to ruin another friendship with love.

"Want anything from the kitchen?" Called Gilbert.

"Beer." Said Elizabeta succinctly. Liquid courage, her mind supplied involuntarily. No, not liquid courage, I don't need liquid courage, WE'RE JUST FRIENDS!

Elizabeta examined her outfit, the low-cut blue t-shirt and designer jeans she had picked seemed appropriate for a sports game.

Suddenly, Elizabeta panicked. She couldn't be alone with a guy who loved her this much. She frantically pulled out her phone, searching through her contacts for anyone who could be called for moral support.

America? No, he was such a bro.

Canada. Who?

England? Why was he even on here?

Liechtenstein? Yes! She would do.

"Hello?" Asked a sleepy voice.

"Yeah, Switzerland? Can you put Lilly on?"

"Yeah, whatever." Replied the voice grudgingly. In a few moments, a sweet high pitched voice graced the line.

"Lzzy?"Asked the girl.

"Hey Lilly, can you come over to Gilbert's house? Like now?"

"Well I don't know if big brother will let-"

"Shut up, you're obviously spineless, put him on the line, I'll distract him, you get over here. Wear your most molestable dress."

Gilbert was very nervous when he opened the door. Tonight he planned to tell Elizabeta he loved her. It was all he could to sound casual on the phone. He had dressed in the best outfit he could find without looking like he was trying too hard. He tried to calm himself as he stood hyperventilating in the kitchen with two glasses in his hand. Quickly, before he could talk himself out of it, he speed-walked into the living room to find a surprising sight.

"Lilly?" Asked Gilbert as he saw his best friends little sister curled up on the couch next to Elizabeta. Why was she wearing that dress? She looked like a Japanese prostitute.

"Yeah. Lilly was watching The Tigers over at her place so I invited her over to watch it with us. I hope you don't mind." Elizabeta quickly invented an excuse for Lilly being there, if a flimsy one.

Forgetting the powerful alcohol he had put in his own glass, he handed Lilly his glass and went to get himself another glass.

"Girls." He muttered, shaking his head.

When he returned, he found a very agreeable sight, to him at least.

Elizabeta had somehow procured several more beers and was giggling hysterically at an empty T.V. screen.

Lilly was nearly passed out on the couch next to her.

"well this is as good a time as any." Gilbert said, ambling over to Elizabeta. He grabbed Elizabeta's perfect white hands. He noticed how her shirt perfectly framed her breasts. _Nice touch_ chuckled Gilbert pervertedly.

He maintained uncomfortable eye contact with Lzzy's piercing green eyes.

"I love you." Gilbert said frankly. _Oh damn, I meant to lead up to that_, he thought to himself.

"Cool." Giggled Elizabeta, shying away from his piercing gaze. She pulled him close and kissed him. She scampered across the corner and huddled in the corner, still giggling like a madwoman.

At this point, Gilbert was about as drunk as his conquests. He turned to the other side of the couch and saw Lilly. What a dress!

"Might I get the same treatment from you?" He asked hopefully.

Lilly kissed Gilbert skillfully with tongue. Gilbert fell back, amazed. She was a better kisser than Lzzy.

Lilly smiled at Gilbert, biting her lip. "I get around." She said in response to Gilbert's unasked question.

With that, there was no need for explanation, just three people on a mission. Together they trekked to Gilbert's bedroom and fell, in a three-way hug, on the bed.

(Several Weeks Later)

The first thing Gilbert heard the next morning was the screeching sound of his phone ringing.

"Go away." He whispered weakly. As his answering machine picked up, he heard an angry female voice.

"You got us pregnant, you jerk, the least you could do it answer the fucking phone."

Gilbert shot over to the phone.

"What?" he said simply.

"That's right! How could you do this?" Lilly screamed.

At a corner café, Gilbert put his head in his hands.

"What are we going to do?" He asked, addressing both women equally.

"Well we have to keep it." They said simultaneously, this seemed to be the only thing they agreed on.

And so it was decided.

"How are we going to create a home-life? There are three of us."

"We'll make it work."

NINE MONTHS LATER…

It wasn't easy. Gilbert had to take care of two pregnant ladies for nine whole months and keep them in his house (which was surprisingly his idea).

When the day came and Gilbert held the two children in his arms, he decided he couldn't have devised a better way for them to come into the world. He realized that no matter what his feelings had been before for the two women they had changed to ones of love and devotion.

In the years that followed the trio lived in a kind of ménage a trois raising the babies, one named Lilly (jokingly referred to as Daisy to differentiate from her mother), and the other named Gilbert Jr. after his father.

And they lived happily ever after.


	2. Chapter 2: Belarus x America

Sitting in a corner, hugging her knees, Natalia looked over her life. The snowy wasteland outside was quite introspective-looking actually, a perfect setting for some soul-searching. She supposed it was loneliness and sheer insanity that caused all the terrible events leading to today.

A tear escaped her icy blue eyes as she thought of the humiliating rejection she had suffered time after time at the hands of her brother. She had tried so hard to move on, dates with Toris, taking up useless new hobbies and persistently suppressing her emotions but her love for her brother Ivan somehow conquered all. It was maddening how even as he tried to push her out of his life, he would never quite escape her thoughts.

She examined a long ugly scar on her pretty white arms almost admiringly. It told a tragic story of heartbreak which she daily replayed in her mind as if to remind herself "There's a reason I'm like this." This scar served to remind her of her first rejection, the confession began it all.

"Ivan, I'm in love with you." She had blurted out a few decibels too high over dinner one night.

Ivan stared at her as if he couldn't quite believe what he was hearing.

"Well you know I love you too, Natalia. As a sister of course. I assumed that's what you meant as well."

Natalia could tell he was trying to let her down easy by playing dumb, giving her a chance to back out. She couldn't back out this time though, she needed a definitive answer. So she leaned forward firmly placed her surprisingly strong hands over his and asked, "But are you _in_ love with me?" She leaned forward just enough to let him look down her dress in a last ditch effort to persuade him.

"Nat, this is wrong." Ivan said, pulling away, attempting to grab his coat.

"So wrong it's right?" Natalia shot back grabbing his arm with an iron grip, smiling in way that made Ivan very uncomfortable. He knew it was only one of her mood swings.

"Nat, please don't do this. I've tried so hard to be tolerant of you and your… problem and I don't want to cut you out of my life but it's just so… hard sometimes. You see, I've known for quite some time that you've had these feelings towards me and it cuts into every part of me until I just don't know anymore." After finishing his confession, Ivan looked stricken. He knew Natalia wouldn't handle this well. She was very unstable and Ivan almost feared her.

"A problem? That's what I am to you?" Natalia screamed causing everyone in the little Italian bistro to turn and stare at the siblings.

"Sister, please sit down, we'll talk this out." Pleaded Ivan but Natalia was far past talking at this point. She couldn't take this anymore, she felt like everyone in her life just wanted her gone. She slapped her brother and ran out of the restaurant, running down the city street, towards the bordering forest with no plan besides escaping. The tears streaming down her face were hauntingly familiar and reminded her of all the reasons to leave and go anywhere but here.

She continued to run, ignoring the biting cold and increasing darkness. Before she knew it the forest was enveloping her. She ran until she couldn't run anymore.

She collapsed on the ground in an unfamiliar clearing, her muscles aching, her clothes ripped and her face tear-stained. At this point her only thought was of sleep. Before she slept though she had an idea, one that would infect her mind and influence her decisions in the years to come: Ivan had inflicted great amounts of emotional pain on her and no matter how much she would to like to change that she couldn't, meaning she couldn't control it. That was the key principal in her theory: control. She liked to be in control but Ivan had put her in a position of weakness. However if she were to cut herself, she would inflict physical pain on herself, meaning she could control the pain. Therefore she could control a part of the pain in her life. In her exhausted, depressed mind it made perfect sense.

Rummaging around in her handbag, she found a pair of sewing scissors. Perfect. The blades gleamed seductively in the moonlight.

Pulling back the sleeve of her coat, she prepared herself. This was the right thing to do. It would put her in control again. Slowly, she took a deep breath and took a clean slice at her arm. Blood poured out of the gash the scissors had left. She gasped in pain, dropping the scissors and falling to her knees. In that moment she felt a strange sort of clarity as though she understood the world much better now. She had heard pain could provide clarity but she had never quite understood that concept until now.

When you experience an immense amount of pain it's like nothing else is happening and it clears your mind. It was magical.

Still delirious from her discovery, she fell down and due to sheer exhaustion fell into a deep sleep next to a pond.

Alfred picked his way through the Russian forest skillfully, taking a knife to anything in his way. He had thought a Russian road trip might clear his mind. He had eventually just abandoned his car and started hacking angrily through the forest by the side of the road. This was very freeing. Unfortunately, he was now lost in an unfamiliar forest and he was now wallowing in his misery alone.

Shrugging, he continued into the forest. If he didn't know where he was it didn't really matter which way he went. Hopefully he could find his way to a village where he could spend the night before arranging a flight home. If he was going to be miserable anyway, he might as well be miserable in comfort.

Up ahead, after hours of hacking through relentless vegetation, he saw a clearing where he could perhaps rest for an hour or so before continuing on to his destination, wherever that may be. He worked toward the oasis at a breakneck pace. As he grew closer, he saw a female figure, unconscious beside a birch tree on the other side of the clearing. He stopped dead in his tracks at the edge of the clearing as he recognized her as Natalia, Ivan's pretty younger sister. He was a little scared of her but he couldn't say he hadn't noticed her bewitching beauty during his escapades at the world conference.

Just as he was deciding his next course of action, she woke up.

"Who are you?" She whispered backing away as fast as she could. She obviously didn't remember him.

Suddenly she stopped and turned her back to him, her mood changing, "I know what you are. Your skin is pale white and ice cold. You're impossibly fast and strong."

Alfred rolled his eyes but obligingly played along. "Say it Nat, out loud."

"Republican." She whispered her eyes sparkling.

"You little…I'm not a Republican, I'm the her-"he stopped as he spun her around he realized she was wounded.

"What happened to you?" Asked Alfred softly, his eyes wide with concerned.

Natalia's face darkened and she began to walk back toward the clearing. Unexpectedly she fell into his arms. In that moment, looking into her eyes and Alfred saw a life of pain and rejection he had never seen in her during their brief encounters at the world conferences. Maybe there was more to Natalia than met the eye at first glance.

"Here let me clean up that wound. If you want you can tell me how you got it."

The next hour was spent in trying as best he could to disinfect the wound on her wrist and Natalia telling him the story of her crushing rejection and her decision to come to the forest.

"I guess I knew, in the back of my mind, he would never go for it." She finished up. Telling someone else she felt as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She had kept her feelings bottled up inside for so long because she had learned at a very young age that people didn't approve of her feelings toward her brother.

"Believe it or not I'm also here because of the horrors of heartbreak." Alfred replied casually.

Natalia sighed with relief: Alfred didn't judge her. He just listened. "Oh, sweetie did you and Kiku break up? I'm so sorry."

"He said I was too grabby but he's just a prude." Alfred said, a whiny tone making its way into his voice.

"Why do people suck so much?"Laughed Natalia, feeling normal for the first time in ages. It had been a long time since she had had anyone to talk to.

They had been talking and venting for so long, they didn't notice when it became dark. After a while Alfred said, "Come on, let's make a fire. I might as well stay the night with you and then we'll go back to your village." So they made a fire and ate a dinner of canned spaghetti that Alfred had brought. After they had finished, they sat up for several more hours commiserating about their failed relationships.

As their conversation went on, Alfred began to notice, Natalia's little mannerisms: The way she subconsciously played with her hair when she laughed, the way she touched her lips with the tips of her fingers when she was surprised, the way she leaned forward and touched his hands when she had wanted to put emphasis in her words.

The firelight played over her hair giving her features character. Even in ripped clothes and covered in dirt, she was beautiful. Nothing could cover up her effortlessly perfect figure.

Suddenly he was drawn to her. He reached over putting his hands around her waist, kissing her neck.

At first she pulled back, surprised, exclaiming, "What are we doing?" in a whispering tone but gradually she began to kiss him back. She found she liked kissing Alfred, he was strong and passionate. Plus he was fun and after the year she'd had, she needed fun. They both seemed to understand that this was just two wounded people cheering each other up, nothing more.

Standing up, with the goal of pulling each other's clothes off, their height difference was amplified.

"Oh my god you're like two meters tall." Natalia laughed, pulling back.

"Meters? Really? You know I don't understand the metric system. Anyway what are you? Like 5 foot 4?"

Quickly doing the math in her head she shot back, "162.56 centimeters? Yeah, about right."

After that they began to kiss again, ignoring the height difference to the best of their ability. They fell on the ground together, almost wrestling, and this was how they spent the night. Wrestling.

"Really?" you may ask? No, they had sex. Grow up kids; sometimes people are too lazy to write segways and just as lazy about writing lemon, okay? Don't judge.

Before they knew it the sun was rising over the horizon and they were lying in each other's warm embrace under a conveniently placed blanket. After that night they saw very little of each other until:

Several Years Later

"Mommy, can I go now? I love you but the hospital is _boring_," whined a female child's voice.

"Sure, Victoria, go tell your daddy, you're ready to go."

The girl ran outside and jumped into Alfred's car. As they drove away, Victoria took one last look at the Saarne Institute for the Mentally Insane where her mother would be locked up forever.


	3. Chapter 3: Indonesia x England: Part 1

Karina ran freely through her native rainforests her long brown braid flowing behind her in the wind. She marveled at the indigenous birds and flowers as if seeing them for the first time, traveling the paths only her feet could know. To most people the rainforest was nuisance, something to be tolerated or killed. To Karina, it was a treasure trove of subtle beauty which people rarely saw.

Picking a sunny spot on a tree stump, Karina sat down. She admired the way her sun kissed skin glistened in the warm glow that filtered through the trees. Exotic birds chirped to each other, squirrels scurried up trees with a bounty of food for winter, the distant sound of children laughing filtered through from the nearby village. Nothing could ruin this moment, basking in the sun, enjoying the beauty of her country.

Suddenly her cell phone ringtone exploded into the silence, ruining her mood of peacefulness and reminding her that there was a world outside the natural artistry she now beheld. Annoyed, she looked at the caller I.D. "Arthur Kirkland" it read. She rolled her bright yellow eyes dismissively but answered the call, preparing to curse him out.

"What?" She barked into the receiver.

"Woah! I am going to hang up and we are going to try that again." Arthur replied, obviously chagrined.

"If you call again, I won't answer. I'm kind of in the middle of something and you have ruined my mood, perhaps forever." Karina shot back.

"Well played, my friend. I was just wondering whether you'd be interested in visiting good old England sometime in the near future."

Karina was taken aback but pleased. "Well…um…okay." She stuttered. Why was she so nervous? She like England well enough but for some reason she had butterflies in her stomach and her hands had begun to shake.

"Great," continued Arthur, not noticing Karina's obvious hesitance, "how about Wednesday?"

"S-s-sounds good." She finally got out after a few moments of nervous reluctance.

"Are you okay?" asked Arthur, sounding concerned.

"I'm f-f-fine. The phone's just c-c-cutting out I think, I'M GOING THROUGH A TUNNEL." She yelled, ending the call.

_Oh my god, what the hell was that?_ She thought to herself, embarrassed that she hadn't been able to keep her feelings in check in front of Arthur, whatever feelings those may be. She felt like she was fourteen again and she was trying to tell a boy she liked him.

She sat back down on the tree stump, fascinated by her own emotions. Unexpectedly, she shook her head, dismissing her feelings. This was mere infatuation and even if it wasn't she didn't need to bother Arthur with it.

Setting herself firmly in denial, she got up quickly, feeling a sharp pain in her side. Wincing knowingly, she pulled up her shirt to reveal the ugly scars she had earned during her limited involvement in World War Two. They were the only flaws on her otherwise perfect almond skin and were a constant source of an unpleasant stabbing sensation not to mention the embarrassment they caused her whenever she wore a swimsuit.

Neatly repressing the marks on her shirt, Karina began to walk toward the village. If she couldn't recapture the inner peace she felt in the rainforest, she might as well have some fun. Walking back through the rainforest, listening to a cacophony of animal sounds, Karina was thinking less and less about nature and more and more about Arthur and what her visit would be like.

She would most likely arrive by plane at some fancy British airport. She might bumble around for a few minutes trying to find her luggage before Arthur found her and helped her out to his car. She wondered what kind of car Arthur had. Maybe a Ford or a Chrysler? No, those were American cars but try as she might she couldn't think of a single British car company. Perhaps she didn't pay attention in school as well as she'd originally thought. No matter though, in her mind Arthur drove a Toyota, she didn't know why. When they arrived at his car they would drive through the crowded British streets until they reached his apartment, no doubt a fancy 10 story apartment building with an elevator and a doorman. Once inside the building they would endure an awkward, tension-filled, elevator ride up to his apartment where they would run to the bedroom and-

"SMACK!" said the tree, jolting Karina out of her fantasy. Of course, the tree didn't really _say_ anything; she had just run into it producing the sound. Falling over from the impact, Karina rubbed her head and moaned.

"Why does this have the happen to me? This is worse than a hangover."

Recovering, Karina picked herself up off the ground and dusted herself off.

Reaching the edge of rainforest, she entered the noisy market district of the village, feeling immediately better as she saw people she knew.

People bartered with gold coins for goods and services on both sides of the street, filling each market stall. It was a busy day for the Indonesian salesmen. People of all classes and colors crowded into the short little market street to do business. Of all the stalls, however, one stall in particular caught Karina's eye as she wandered aimlessly down the street, blending in to the crowd seamlessly. It housed many intricately carved pieces of wood which was very common in Indonesia as they had a surplus of craftsmen so she couldn't quite place why she was drawn to that stall and not any others. Then she saw it. Each piece of wood was expertly polished and set in the sun to sparkle and attract the attention of passersby: tourists mostly since they were forever buying trinkets of this sort.

Karina continued down the street smiling to herself and waving at acquaintances. This was a clever tactic on the part of the salesmen. The market smelled of freshly baked bread and the air was clear and crisp as it began to grow dark, in other words, a perfect day for a stroll.

As she turned off the market street and onto another, much less crowded street, she neared her own lodgings: a shabby two story bungalow with a full porch.

Getting out her key, she unlocked the door and fell onto the couch that was just inside the door. Examining her surroundings, she sighed with relief as she realized all her possessions were still there. She had been robbed once before and was now abnormally paranoid of being robbed again. Sliding over to the other side of the couch, she grabbed her laptop that was conveniently on the side table so she could book a flight to England. Opening up a web browser, she realized the only flights available had several layovers. Just her luck

Sighing, she closed her laptop screen and pushed it aside exasperatedly, planning to call Arthur in the morning. She curled up in a ball and as the realization of her long day hit her, she fell fast asleep.


	4. Chapter 3: Indonesia x England: Part 2

The scratchy feeling of unfamiliar sheets brushed against Karina's cheek. She groaned, still somewhat exhausted from the night before. Her first thought was, who buys such cheap sheets? Only half conscious she tried to roll into the fetal position but her limbs felt so heavy her body stayed stubbornly in place, as though they were frozen. Panicking, she struggled as hard as she could to move but her body remained leaden. She heard the voices of strangers around her and tried to open her eyes but the lids would not move.

"She doesn't seem to be seriously hurt but there are signs of sexual assault." A male voice said, his voice deathly serious.

"Where'd you find her?" Asked a concerned female voice that she realized was her mother.

"She was lying by the side of the road."

After these few lines of dialogue there was a disturbing silence punctuated by the soft sounds of crying.

"I don't know how this could happen to her. We were always so careful." Karina's mother said between sobs.

Karina wanted nothing more than to wake up and comfort her mother. She felt the weight of her mother's head on her chest and the moisture of her tears.

Suddenly her body shot up instinctively and she was in her own living room again. She sighed with relief as she realized it was all a dream. The feeling of powerlessness she had experienced during the dream was almost more than she could take and she sighed in relief realizing that it was all over. What had it all meant?

Her laptop still glowed invitingly in the darkness, a lantern piercing through the frightening unknown of 3am in Indonesia. Picking up the computer, she saw it was still on the travel website. A phone number was listed next to the e-mail address on the homepage. She looked around the room, her night-vision setting in, trying to find her cellphone. Scanning the room, she saw that it lay just out of reach, next to where the laptop had been. Groaning wiht fatigue and laziness, Karina got up to grab it, stabbing the travel company's number into the phone. Karina held the phone to ear as she lay back down. The company let it ring twice before answering. Nice touch, not too desperate while maintaining their interest in you as a client...or perhaps she was overanalyzing just a bit.

"Sky Trails Airlines, how may I help you?" Said a female voice that was just a little too happy to be plausible.

"I'd like to book a flight to London. The earlist flight available, if you please." Karina said, formally, her accent slipping in as she thought back to the many English classes she had taken throughout her school-age years. None of them had quite eradicated her renegade pronunciation of some English words and her general accent.

"Okay, ma'am, I actually have a special offer for you if you can take the 8am flight." Said the female voice.

"Alright, what is it?"

"I can actually give you a free first class ticket as one of our wealthier clients bailed on his plans. Normally, we would resell the ticket but since it is so close to flight time we have decided to just give it away."

"REALLY? That's amazing! Guess I'll see you at 8 then." And Karina arranged to have the tickets and hung up the phone. However, she wasn't done with it quite yet. She punched in the numbers for Arthur's home phone. Once again, it rang twice before Arthur got to the phone.

"Hey Karina, isn't it like 3am where you are?" Asked Arthur.

"Well hello to you too. And yes it is but I just called to tell you, I'll be flying into to London International Airport tomorrow morning so I thought we could hook up and hang out." Karina tried her best to sound cool and casual, like she didn't care if they hung out or not. She didn't want ot sound too eager, that was always a turn off.

"Okay, ring me on my mobile when you get in and maybe I can show you around the city."

"Wow...you actually say 'ring me on my mobile'. It'a so quaint." Karina chuckled.

"Shut up, I'll see you tomorrow, I guess." shot back Arthur,a mix of annoyance and self-deprecation emanating through his voice. With that, he hung up the phone.

Karina pressed the glowing red "end" button with vigor and threw away the phone. She would need four hours of sleep she could get before her early flight.

Sitting on the plane, Karina was unabatedly amazed at her lavish accomodations. She had a fully reclinably seat, her own T.V. and workstation and extendable room dividers so she could pretend she had her own room if she so desired. Her "oos" and "ahs" were met with undisguised scorn by her fellow passengers who had obviously all flown first-class before and were impatient with the musings of a first-timer.

After her temporary daze was over, for the first time she began to question the practicality of visiting Arthur. She seemed to be forcing herself on Arthur. Though he had invited her, she was arriving much earlier than expected which might freak him out and she didn't like the sound of that. She really liked Arthur and didn't want to mess this up. She had been hurt too many times to face another rejection. Some would call her emotionally damaged but she just called herself experienced and protected (referring to the emotional walls she sometimes threw up to protect herself from heartbreak although being "protected" during sex was always good, too).

After her worry, she fell asleep and the flight continued uneventfully until she was awoken by the sound of a flight attendant announcing that there was only ten minutes left before landing time.

After that the plane landed safely and it was all hustle and bustle to get off the plane in one piece with one's carry-on bag. After making her way to the baggage claim to retrieve her suitcase, she sat down on a nearby bench to do some much needed people watching. She saw a nauseating couple in love whispering in each other's ears and some wailing toddlers before seeing a tell-tale pair of eyebrows in the crowd.

Instinctively climbing up on the baggage carousel, she yelled, "Arthur, over here!" Waving her arms emphatically.

Laughing heartily, Arthur made his way through the crowd.

"Okay, I see you, get down from there, you don't have to impress me." Said Arthur offering a hand that shook from laughter to help her down.

"Who says I was trying to impress you?" Asked Karina, smirking, as she grabbed Arthur's hand. He had a surprisingly firm grip and a warm aura surrounded him. Beyond that, Karina felt the telltale spark between her and Arthur and that was always a good sign. A good sign that made her weak at the knees like a lovesick teenager.

"What are you staring at?" Asked Arthur curiously, waving a hand in front of he face.

Karina was jolted out of a daze as she realized she had been staring at Arthur for longer than she thought and as if that wasn't bad enough she had been smiling, once again, like a lovesick teenager.

"The ceiling..the floor...everything...nothing." Karina stuttered trying to play it cool but failing miserably.

"That's not vague at all. Let's proceed, shall we?" Asked Arthur. _I suppose what she lacks in sublety she makes up for in enthusiasm and all-around intrigue_, Arthur thought to himself.

Karina followed Arhur though she wasn't sure where they were going.

"I'm not going to lie to you, I actually walked here but I think I'll call us a cab, now." Arthur chuckled.

"Sure, yeah, that's fine." Said Karina, distractedly. She had been staring at Arthur's rock-hard abs too much to be actually listening, although she was aware enough to pull a very old trick.

"Brr, it's cold out here." Shivered Karina, hugging her shoulders, in an attempt to look cold.

"Are you kidding me? It's fucking July. Man up." Chortled Arthur and then seeing her horrified expression, added, "I'm kidding, calm down." He said sliding his arm around her shoulder.

"Better?"

She flinched inadvertently at his touch and then allowed herself to lean her head on his shoulder, "Much better, I've missed how close we used to be."

"You realize you are very tranparent, right?"

"Just the way I like it."

Just then the cab pulled up. Arthur politely opened the door for Karina before sliding into the seat himself and closing the bright yellow door behind him and telling the cab driver where to go.

That ten minute cab ride was the longest Arthur and Karina had ever experienced because they had to face the fact that even though they both wanted to deny they both felt a spark back there on the bench.

"So, how's the weather in Indonesia?" Asked Arthur.

"Uh, good, rainy." Said Karina. And that was all that was said.

Before too long, however, the cab pulled up in front of a lavish mansion with a long winding driveway.

"This is where you live?" Screeched Karina, betraying her general parochial-ness in her amazement.

"Yeah, did you think I was povo?" Asked Arthur, a smirk of superiority returning to his lips.

Like a small child Karina pushed open the door and ran down the walkway, eager to enter the house and explore its many hallways.

Arthur followed at his own pace, inspecting Karina from behind with dirty little smile on his face. Suddenly Karina spun around and caught him.

"You jerk!" She laughed, slapping him lightly as he unlocked the door.

She insisted he walk ahead of her after that.

As soon as they got in the door, Karina practically glomped him, saying "Thank you so much for inviting me over!" Suddenly she drew back, " Ew, I'm sorry, I must be so gross from traveling, I think I'll go shower."

"It's the third door on the left." Said Arthur, helpfully. As he watched her bound down the hallway, he got such a bad idea in his head it almost canceled out and became good: he was going to debut "The Naked Man."

Last week as he had been watching, "How I Met Your Mother" (which was a surprisingly competent American show) he had inadvertently stumbled on some useful information. One of the main characters, Barney, tried to convince his peers, namely Ted and Lilly, that his theory which was aptly named "The Naked Man" was true: that two times out of three if you sit naked in a girls apartment she will have sex with you out of sheer shock and amusement.

Now, Arthur was going to put that plan into action in his own way. He was going to "suit down" as Barney would say and wait for Karina in the bathroom and perhaps the theory would work.

As Karina made her way to the bathroom, she noticed a room marked "Experiments". Curiously, she opened the door to find an assortment of vials and beakers full of many different liquids that varied in color and consistency. Against her better judgement, she chugged a purple liquid and let the vial fall to the ground. _Come on live a little_ was her justification to herself. As she walked out of the room, she didn't noticed the way the sun that streamed through the window glinted on the label that marked the vial and revealed that it read, "Experimental Aphrodisiac. Warning: May be dangerously effective."

Sitting naked in the guest bathroom shower, Arthur began to question the validity of his favorite sitcom hero. Maybe Karina would just freak out and leave. Of course, if she was into it the reward far outweighed the risk so he silenced his doubts.

Finally, after almost twenty minutes of waiting, he heard the bathroom door open and a hand reached into the shower to turn the water on. Arthur contained his shriek as cold water descended umercifully on his head. After this, Arthur heard the telltale signs of disrobing and did a silent air five with the shower tiles and began air boxing with no one. He pushed aside the curtain slightly for one moment to quell his curiosity. As he looked at her naked body, the one thought that came to his mind was: _well at least her boobs aren't false advertising. _

Suddenly she turned and began walking towards the shower. Pulling aside the curtain, to Arthur surprise she purred, like a sexy cat (so many things wrong with that simile) and descended on Arthur and began kissing his neck. As their bodies touched they both again felt that spark which bonded them together.

"Wow, you fell hard for The Naked Man, I really didn't think you'd be into this." Said Arthur.

"Are you kidding? You totally turn me on and now you're naked and willing? I take what I can get." Answered Karina between kissing.

"What's with your voi-" Began Arthur and then realizing what had happened, he yelled, "Oh yeah! you must have gotten into the potion room. Score!"

After that encounter, it became hard to count how many intimate moments they shared during Karina's stay. They barely left his house in the four days she spent with him and when they did, it usually ended in scrambling to find a bathroom to do it in anyway. Arthur began to wonder if Karina was actually into him or if the aphrodisiac was just incredibly long lasting.

However as with all good things, Karina's stay eventually ended and she left Arthur with a passionate kiss, running for her flight but promising to return. Arthur promised to call her. Neither fulfilled their promise.

One Month Later

Karina sat in her living room, sipping tea, thinking of Arthur. In the month that had passed since her visit to his house, she had recieved no calls, emails or even texts from him. Just as well, she supposed they both understood it was meant to be a one night stand. Or rather a 96 hour stand (and that wasn't even meant to be a sexual joke but make it into one if it suits you).

One thing worried her of late however. Her period was three weeks late and never in her life had she wanted so much to bleed. She couldn't even deal with thinking about pregnancy let alone having a legit pregnancy. She still used the word legit in her internal dialogue. How could she possible be mature enought to raise a child?

For peace of mind, Karina decided to walk to the drugstore and pick up a pregancy test. On her way she felt as though many judging eyes were on her though no one could know what she was about to buy. She supposed it was paranoia and guilt getting the best of her.

Walking into the drugstore, she scanned the aisles and quickly found the one aisle just dodgy enough to have what she needed. Scanning all the different brands, she picked the most discreetly namely box and rushed up to the front counter, praying no one she knew worked there.

"Karina!" called a familiar American voice behind her.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUU-" Yelled Karina before spinning around, producing a fake smile and hiding the pregnancy test behind her back.

"Yo Alfred, my man, what up? How's tricks, broseph?" Called Karina in a surprisingly good imitation of a California bro.

"What's wrong with your voice?" Asked Alfred as Karina tried to do some complicated bro handshake.

"What wrong with me? What's wrong with you? You don't hit me up anymore, broski. What's the haps?" As Karina inadvertently waved her hands in an elaborate hand gesture that changed as she improvised, Alfred caught sight of the box in her hands and his face became deathly serious.

"Oh, I see what's going on here." He said and then his expression changed completely, "Don't hide it, you tried out the poppy seed myth. Looks like it is true." Alfred laughed and patted her on the shoulder in a good-natured gesture of friendship, good times and... complete obliviousness.

"Yeah, sure, whatever. Check you later, Brosama Bin Laden." Karina said, making her way to the check out counter.

"That's actually really offensive." Said Alfred, under his breath as she walked about and then to himself, "I got the bitch."

"Oh sweetie, are you trying to have a baby? That's so sweet. I remember when I was trying-" The middle-aged cashierwoman went on and on about her apparent infertility.

_Fuck this small town, everybody in everybody else's business. I don't need to know your life's story, lady, just let me pay for my shit and leave_, thought Karina.

"Yes, that's nice. I agree with what ever you said." Karina said, shoving some money into the cashier's hand and going to the bathroom in the back of the store. She wasn't going to wait for results.

Opening the bathroom door and entering the stall, Karina opened the box. She found her hands were shaking along with the rest her body.

"Calm down." She told, herself, "worst case scenario: you die in childbirth or you're a horrible mother. Both perfectly viable options."

Surprisingly, this calmed her down quite a bit. Following the instructions, she peed on the tester and waited a few minutes in the stall.

To pass the time, she thought of all the ways she could accidently screw up this hypothetical kid's life. She could be neglectful, become a drunk, just be generally annoying, there were so many possibilities and that was after the kid was old enough to be cognitive and emotional. Maybe it (had she really called the child an "it"? Oh well, just roll with it) would die in early infancy or even in the womb, she thought morbidly. I can't be this perfect mother who knows exactly what to in the event of pregnancy and-

She looked down at her watch, it had been five minutes, the maximum number of minutes one must wait. She turned over the test and saw that it read positive and screamed.

"Ma'am, are you okay in there?" Yelled the female voice of the cashier.

"Yes, I'm fine and I'm _NOT _having a baby. Today is a great day. The test read positive and I hate children! WOO! I'm pumped."

There was an awkward silence before the cashier said quietly, "I don't mean to rain on your parade but that actually means you _are_ pregnant." And Karina heard her leave.

"Well forget that noise, I think I'll bask in a little more solid gold denial before I- oh what's the use, I actually have to make a decision now." Karina groaned, slumped back down on the toilet, crossing her arms and pouting like an adolescent. She couldn't tell Arthur about this, she just couldn't. It would ruin everything. He would hate her.

There were two things she knew definitively at that moment:

1. Edward was a vampire.

However that was a given and ripping off Stephanie Meyer is so last week so let me begin again. There were two things Karina knew definitively at that moment:

would keep the child. She couldn't think of another alternative she could live with.

2. She would not, under any circumstances, tell Arthur she was carrying his child or raising it.

Two years later

"Oh my god, Karina hi." Said England as he was shopping for mangos on his Indonesian vacation. You would not believe how many people just randomly end up in Indonesia due to plot wall effectively broken.

"Uh, hi Arthur." Replied Karina, her two year old child clinging to her arm.

Putting a thoughtful finger to his lips, Arthur said, "Let me guess, that's your...niece. How'd you get saddled with babysitting?"

"I don't have any siblings, how could I have a niece?" Said Karina, laughing, "Actually, she's my daughter."

"Woah, newsflash there. I didn't know you had a child, where's your husband?" Asked Arthur.

Karina knew he meant well but that question annoyed the hell out of her. As if she didn't do just as good of a job raising her child alone as she would have with a husband, better actually.

"Actually, I'm single. She was kind of a surprise and that ended the relationship." Karina said putting her hands over her little girls ears as she said this.

"Uh, well that's fine. See you later then." Arthur said, happy to live in denial. At least for now.

Later that night, Arthur paced his room. Was the child his? Was that what she was trying to say? The timing was definitely right. Or had she gotten with someone else just after him? Lucky bitch.

He couldn't take this kind of uncertainty, he had to see Karina.

Karina heard a knock on her door. Who could that be? She didn't want to see anyone after her terrifying run in with Arthur earlier. What if he had found out the child was his? Not only would he be mad that Karina had let this happen but that she had lied to him for two whole years.

At this point, she'd just as soon raise the child alone forever rather than expose her to a father that didn't want her. She didn't want to share Aya.

Opening the door, she winced at the sight of Arthur, drenched from the rain.

"Can I come in? I'm bloody soaked." Arthur said gruffly.

Karina stepped aside wordlessly, allowing him into her living room.

Without being asked, he sat on the couch, twitching nervously, trying to get up his courage to say what he needed say.

"Is the kid mine?" He asked bluntly, seeing no delicate way to ask.

The stress finally got to Karina and something snapped inside of her.

"First you barge into my house, dampen my couch and say something like that in front of my kid? You need to leave." Said Karina, pointing at the door.

"No, please, Karina. I'm sorry. I've just been pacing around all night worrying and it finally got to me."

"Yes, the kid's yours but don't think you're going to whisk her away or that we're going to get married and have some perfect family."

"Don't worry, I'm not here to turn your life upside down. I just want to know why you lied." Said Arthur quietly.

"I knew for a fact you didn't want kids and to be honest I didn't either. Also, I was young and stupid and I feared you would be mad at me." Replied Karina putting her head in her hands, crying.

Sweeping Karina into his arms, he comforted her. "It's okay, we'll get through this." He said softly.

That was how it ended, in a passionate embrace.


	5. Chapter 4: Belgium x Romano

If you had asked Lovino what he thought about sex a couple of weeks ago, he would have turned as red as one of those tomatoes he loves so much and muttered in a barely audible whisper, "What, did that Spanish bastard put you up to this?" Then a predictable denial of any form of sexuality within himself will follow, for he couldn't have anyone assume a connection between himself and that which he pretended to loathe: the Spaniard's sexuality. Look closely at his face at the end of this altogether too lengthy monologue, and you will be able to pinpoint the exact time at which he realized, all too late it seems, that all this denial of sexuality makes him seem, in a society whose default is heterosexual, homosexual, and while this isn't necessarily a bad thing he equates this conclusion with weakness and femininity. For even the thick-headed tsundere is not ignorant enough to be oblivious to the masculinity worship around him. On occasion, he is aware that in order to be accepted, whatever that means in an increasingly global culture, he must, at the very least, put up a front of heterosexual masculine, raw sexuality to prove to the world he is a man. All this cold calculation happens within the blink of an eye, and, with a blank courtier's smile, he will change the subject.

Emma likes to think she has cured him of that repressive behavior in one fell swoop, but really Lovino's relationship with sexuality and the sex that comes with it was and is a lot more complicated than that. However, he wisely leaves this belief pristine and untouched because he loves Emma, and when she's happy, he's happy.

The preceding scene serves not to preach to you, for I'm sure you're sick of that, living in the age of the digital soapbox, nor to offer some neatly wrapped moral morsel as a side to the meat of the story. It serves only as a precedent, or if I may be so bold, a motif for the rest of the story, which could only begin thusly (for if it didn't, I'd be different; you'd be different; hell, the whole world would be different, if only infinitesimally. As many a poetically inclined idealist will tell you, however sickeningly cliche it may be, an act as simple as the flap of a butterfly's wings can change the course of history. And so it begins.):

A butterfly flapped its art glass wings lazily upon the nose of Lovino Vargus in a sleepy attempt at flight. A tickle, a mischievous little tickle, welled up in the tip of his nose and grew to a full blown itch before the spell of his slumber was broken. And so, as the attractive Italian coolly observed the mound of moss, leaves and surely dirt that he had drunkenly chosen as his bed the night before, the course of history was changed, for two people at least.

Lost in a forest of his own drunken choosing, Lovino wandered aimlessly, allowing his memories of the night before to wash over him in waves. Flashes of scantily clad women and blaring music made themselves abundantly known and Lovino reveled in them through the fog of his hangover. Such were the circumstances when, like a beacon of hope, she appeared: a blonde Belgian girl who was all too familiar to Lovino from his childhood in Spain. She also might have been present at the infamous events of last night. He couldn't remember though. She stood stock still for a moment, picturesque, reminiscent of a statue of cold, unfeeling marble: beautiful, ruthless. In this instant, he drunk in her beauty, from her head to her toes and generously in between, and it filled him with a heady intoxication similar to that of good wine. Incidentally, the wine of last night had not been good wine but rather the cheapest and most abundant wine available, causing his current hangover.

It was then that she spoke, shattering the silence which had previously enveloped them both, and allowing her natural warmth and friendliness to flow back to her body where it had been absent, "Oi, Little Red Riding Hood, remember me?" She called to him where he stood at the edge of the clearing. Her wolfish grin betrayed her delight at Lovino's obvious annoyance with his new nickname.

"Yes, I suppose." He conceded begrudgingly.

"Oh my God in heaven, you don't remember what happened last night do you?" She accused him, suddenly inches from his face, a blaming finger pointing into his chest. Lovino shrugged, half apologetically and half confused in response. "I told you something very important last night. You were pretty drunk, but I thought you understood. Clearly not." And with that she dragged by his tie over the threshold of her ivy covered cottage and pushed him down into a kitchen chair.

"Alright, guess what I told you last night." Emma commanded.

"Why don't you tell me?"

"Because this is a lot more fun for me, and I like to watch you squirm. Besides you deserve it if you don't remember. I mean it was pretty important." She continued with a glaring smile.

"Alright, uh, you got your hair cut." Lovino guessed half-heartedly.

"Do you really think I'm that shallow? But yes I did, thank you for noticing." She replied twirling a strand of the gold hair around a finger subconsciously.

"You're dying of cancer, and you only have three months to live. Consequently, you wanted to tell me that you're leaving everything to me in your will."

"You're really bad at this."

"Well, come on, Emma, just tell me."

Just then, the light broke through the kitchen window, and fell just so on the curve of her belly and her glowing cheeks and it all fell into place.

"You're pregnant."

"Mhm."

"It's mine?"

"Why would you even ask that?"

"Bésame." And years fell away as they kissed passionately under the mid afternoon sun.


End file.
